crazy, madly, incessantly, head over heels in love
Does it stay forever? Or is it the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship?
Is our generation drawn to the idea of screaming and crying and fighting and kissing “IN” love, and not waiting and helping and fighting “FOR” love?
[yes, the ‘and'(s) are on purpose]
When people ask me what is my biggest fear or what scares me the most, I tend to LOSE MYSELF in a dark slush of sorts, a monstrous place.
I don’t know how am I supposed to explain this to people.
Very early in my life, I learnt that most often than not, people fall out of love for the same reasons that they fell in it. Their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become a refusal to compromise and their one-track mind is now immaturity and their habits that you once adored are now money down the drain. Yes, their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dashboard are no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life.
[yes, again, the ‘and'(s) are on purpose]
Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes
My Psychology teacher once asked me what I think is love, a choice or feeling? Me being a typical teenager said, a feeling, of course. What she said next, haunts me to date?
She said that if we clung to that idea and belief, we would never have a lasting relationship of any sort, because the feeling will disappear. What first seemed like a roller-coaster love, will later seem like a reckless, nauseous and draining ride!
And then yesterday, I read, this:
I don’t think most people understand what true love is. It is not the cheesy “couple goals” posts on Instagram. It is not the fancy dates, the happy hours, or the majestic nights laughing at silly movies.
True love is waking up in the middle of the night to help you when you’re sick because I don’t want you to be sick alone. It is being your shoulder to cry on, to vent on.
True love is being the biggest cheerleader and toughest critic.
True love is looking at each other on a spiritual level, a level so deep, that you feel them when they’re gone. True love is not three magical words (I love you), but is six little words,
“no matter what, I got you.”
~Sylvester Mcnutt~
So, relationships are then supposed to be a conscious choice of commitment. One needs to learn to choose each other, and work, rather better make it work, every day, with the person who we have chosen for… you know…
“should be reciprocating the same.”
In marriage and long-term relationships, the “feeling of love” will vanish and fade. And that doesn’t make it an unhappy marriage or relationship or an end of the road. Feelings are meant to change, and we are evolving beings, who are bound to change in both behaviour and likes-dislikes. And a bonding, a relationship, at least the one that lasts, cannot be made on a shaky and tangible foundation like that of “feelings”.
One needs to learn to choose communication, chose to identify what bent was encountered on the trail of love and how to fix it and choose to recreate something worth falling in love with.
Don’t go behind the one that makes your heart flutter or head spin, instead, choose people who are committing to you, choosing you, and are dedicated to finding something to adore in you, even when you are intolerable. You don’t need the one who sees the stars in your eyes, you need someone who is ready to choose to look for them again, even when you two are lost.
Find someone who is complicated and difficult, but is reliable and trustworthy, find your, “no matter what, I got you” rather than “I love you”.
Tannvi 